The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
