he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
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there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
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I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
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