My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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