his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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