As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
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