Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
How naked do you want me to be?
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