Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
