Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
