Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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