you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
