I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Randomize