K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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