This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
we're making bets on your personal life
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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