It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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