and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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