shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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