We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
