Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
