You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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