guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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