Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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