Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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