You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize