He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
