You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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