I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
She said her name was "party"
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
