I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
