I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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