There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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