Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
