that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
