If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
