What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
