I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I stole a fireplace last night.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
