how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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