So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
