you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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