i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
