I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
