She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
