she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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