Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
