brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
