how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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