do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
