I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
