Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
