he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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