Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
