In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
