My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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