Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize
