Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize