Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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