stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
