The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
