I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Just pee around me
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
