How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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