I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
