He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
It's blow job season.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
