This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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